I have been wanting to record a bunch of songs with just me and the guitar, that way I would have a recording that more accurately represents how it is that I sound live. Unfortunately funding is an issue.
Then I was invited to come perform on WHUP's Pass the Hat, a live radio show originating from Hillsborough, NC. The show went well. The hosts Bob and Kirk treated me well and were kind enough to give me a recording of the show afterwards.
This is an edited version of the show. I removed all of the local announcements, who is playing where.etc. You can listen to the show in it's entirety, as well as performances from a multitude of other talented artists from their website at whupfm.org/show/pass-the-hat/
credits
released June 14, 2017
Jeff Wall - Guitar and Vocals
Bob Johnson - Radio Show Host & Technical Stuff
Kirk Ridge - Radio Show Host & Technical Stuff
Various in-studio friends who's names I have forgotten
And all of you deserve credit for the love and encouragement you have given me, Thank you.
Intro 00:29
The Other Side 03:17
Talk #1 02:05
Hell at 30,000ft 03:18
Talk #2 01:43
Erectile Dysfunction Blues 02:54
Talk #3 00:42
Battery Operated Boyfriend 04:05
Talk #4 02:43
Hurry Up and Die 03:47
Talk #5 01:22
Ravens and Crows 03:52
Talk #6 02:08
40 Days and 40 Nights 03:19
Talk #7 01:00
Guitars and Titties (a Gospel Song) 03:43
Talk #8 00:17
Love Everybody (and Don't Be a Dick) 02:20
Outro 00:12
01. Intro
02. The Other Side (Jeff Wall)
It’s been raining all week and the river’s running high
My baby’s waiting for me on the other side
all the bridges are closed and I ain’t got a boat
and this ole truck, it won’t float
Damned ole river why you be so mean
her love burns hotter than gasoline
I can’t swim and I can’t fly
But I got to find a way to the other side
My baby called me up she’s been drinking whiskey
thinking about me and feeling frisky
sitting in her underwear watching the weather
if I hurry on over we can watch it together
Damned ole river why you be so mean
her love burns hotter than gasoline
I can’t swim and I can’t fly
But I got to find a way to the other side
I wish I had a new pair of Adidas
Let me walk on the water just like Jesus
I’d heal the sick and I’d feed the poor
Then I’d run right straight to my baby’s door
Damned ole river why you be so mean
her love burns hotter than gasoline
I can’t swim and I can’t fly
But I got to find a way to the other side
It’s been raining all week and the river’s running high
My baby’s waiting for me on the other side
03. Talk #1
04. Hell at 30,000ft (Jeff Wall)
I’m stuck here on this aeroplane, praying for my life
I don’t believe in Jesus, except when I have to fly
He said “Low, I am with ye”, but he said nothing about up high
I’m stuck here in this airplane and I think I’m gonna die,
Yes I think I’m gonna die
This constant up and down is getting more than I can stand
I’m screaming like a little kid and I’m a full growed man
Hey there Mr Pilot, you can keep my fare
Just put my ass upon the ground I really don’t care where,
No I really don’t care where
Maybe just a little something from that liquor cart
Whiskey, Beer or Heroin, I don’t know where to start
Just a little something for my worried head
to make tomorrow easier when I wake up dead,
Yes When I wake up dead
They say heavens up above the clouds and Hells deep underground
I hate to tell you people but it’s the other way around
Hells at 30 thousand feet way up in the sky
The Devil’s got his Pilot’s license and we’re all gonna die,
Yes we’re all gonna die
If you have to travel, its safest in the air
its them unexpected landings that you really must beware
bouncing off a mountaintop or skipping cross the sea
You can watch your life pass by your eyes from 30 thousand feet,
from 30 thousand feet
I’m stuck here on this aeroplane, praying for my life
I don’t talk to Jesus, except when I have to fly
I’m stuck here on this aeroplane, praying for my life
I’m stuck here in the airplane and I think I’m gonna die,
Yes I think I’m gonna die
05. Talk #2
06. Erectile Dysfunction Blues (Jeff Wall)
What goes up, must come Down
It used to be the other way around,
It used to point up at the sky,
But damn if them days ain’t done gone by
I got the can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
The can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
When I was young I was mighty strong,
I could play with it all night long
What I did all night, now takes all day,
I got the balls but the bat won't play
I got the can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
The can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
I'm still a man, I still got the desire,
I got me some duct tape, got some baling wire
I'm gonna love you, the best that I can
I hope once is enough, I can’t do it again
I got the can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
The can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
I got the Can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
the can't get it up no more, erectile dysfunction blues
Some sad day it could happen to you,
So don’t forget the little pill that’s blue
No matter the cost, it’s still a deal,
To get you a pecker made of railroad steel
No more Can’t get it up, Erectile Dysfunction Blues
Goodbye Can’t get it up, Erectile Dysfunction Blues
07. Talk #3
08. Battery Operated Boyfriend (Jeff Wall)
She’s got a twinkle in her eye,
Like she’s found somebody new
She’s got a bounce now in her step,
Lord I don’t know what to do
You know I’ve had my suspicions,
that she’d found somebody else
Then I found him in her closet,
hiding up there on that shelf
She says I don’t excite her,
so she had to make new plans
My baby’s done replaced me,
with a battery, operated boyfriend
We hung up the decorations,
then we sang Jingle Bells
The only thing she wants for Christmas,
is a case of Duracells
I don’t really mind the buzzing,
or the batteries she drains
It’s just her constant moaning,
makes it hard to watch the game
She says I don’t excite her,
so she had to make new plans
My baby’s done replaced me,
with a battery, operated boyfriend
She’s done used up all the batteries,
there’s none left far or near
She even took the Diehard,
From my old John Deere
But I’ve had all I can take now,
Yes she really has to go
She’s done gone and stole the batteries,
from my remote control
She says I don’t excite her,
so she had to make new plans
My baby’s done replaced me,
with a battery, operated boyfriend
She says I don’t excite her,
so she had to make new plans
My baby’s done replaced me,
with a battery, operated boyfriend
09. Talk #4
10. Hurry Up and Die (Jeff Wall)
I took a vow the day we married,
one that I meant with all my heart
Our love was gonna last forever,
you and me, til death do us part
Darling when I think about you,
I just hang my head and cry,
Wondering why it is my darling,
You won’t hurry up and die
I swore that I would always love you,
even though all you do is put me down
the only way to keep our love alive dear,
is to put you six feet in the ground
Darling when I think about you,
I just hang my head and cry,
Wondering why it is my darling,
You won’t hurry up and die
But you don’t even get the sniffles,
No you’re as healthy as a horse
It looks like I might have to shoot you,
because you know it’s a sin to divorce
Darling when I think about you,
I just hang my head and cry,
Wondering why it is my darling,
You won’t hurry up and die
Why won’t you hurry up and die
11. Talk #5
12. Ravens and Crows (Jeff Wall)
The Ravens and Crows, they sit in a tree
Patiently waiting, they’re waiting for me
They’ve been keeping me company since you’ve been gone
They know they won’t have to wait very long
When we first wed there was joy in your eyes
Life was so perfect, with you by my side
Shoulder to shoulder we’d walk through the years
But you left me alone here, alone with my tears
I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I no longer care
No reason to bother, since you’re not here
I wish I was able to stand up and be brave
But I fall apart when I visit your grave
The Ravens and Crows, they sit in a tree
Patiently waiting, they’re waiting for me
Keeping me company since you’ve been gone
They know they won’t have to wait very long
Yes, They know they won’t have to wait very long
13. Talk #6
14. 40 Days and 40 Nights (Jeff Wall)
40 Days and 40 Nights,
I hope this boat is watertight
I load these animals two by two,
Just doing what I was told to do
I put the unicorn by the bear,
but now the unicorn they ain't there
Bear just sits there with a stupid grin,
I wonder how long a bear can swim
40 days and 40 nights,
I hope to God I get this right
all these animals two by two,
I’m just a part of this floating zoo
He put the skunks next to the bear,
smell the Lord’s power in the air
he put the bears back in their place,
wiped that stupid grin right off their face
40 days and 40 nights,
All this water’s such a fright
I feed the animals two by two,
I’m tired of shoveling all this poo
Open the window and catch the dove,
Guess he’s finished now with this flood
Gotta find me a piece of dry land
Tired of being a vegetarian
40 days and 40 nights,
I’m getting off of this boat tonight
Unload these animals two by two,
then I’ll have a barbeque
15. Talk #7
16. Guitars and Titties (Jeff Wall)
I was a drunkard, and I smoked that dope
Then I found the Lord, and I let all that go
I quit my sinning, and running around
But I still got two weaknesses, dragging me down
I guess it all started, when I was a boy
Guitars and Titties, were my favorite toys
Guitars or Titties, either will do
One is just fine, but I'd rather have two
Schoolwork and Sports, Were never my thing
I loved Guitars and Titties, but they both come with strings
They take all your money; they take all your time
Guitars and Titties, they'll mess up your mind
In Heaven they tell me, there's no guilt and no shame
Your Titties won't sag, we'll feel no more pain
Guitars will tune good, and ring like a bell
You won't hear no banjos, let ‘em all burn in hell
When Jesus comes down, from his Heavenly home,
To gather His children, and take us all home
I hope and I pray, that he'll understand
That Guitars and Titties, bring joy to a man
Yes I think it's all part, of the Lord's Master Plan
He gave us guitars and Titties, and he gave us two hands
Thank You Jesus
17. Talk #8
18. Love Everybody (and Don’t Be a Dick) (Jeff Wall)
When Jesus comes back, He’s gonna be pissed
What the Hell’s going on, He taught us better than this
He said to Do unto Others as you’d have them to do unto you
Not screw everybody before you get screwed
He said help out the needy, take care of the sick,
Love everybody and don’t be a dick
No don’t be a dick
Love Everybody…and don’t be a Dick
But we’re petty and greedy always grasping for more
All we care about’s power or starting some war
Just give me what’s mine, no matter the cost
Compassion is dead, kindness is lost
You can’t buy redemption, no that ain’t the trick
You’ve got to love everybody and don’t be a dick
No don’t be a dick
Love Everybody…and don’t be a Dick
You’re afraid of the Muslims, You’re afraid of the Jews
You’re afraid of the Queers and the Immigrants too
But a Heart filled with Love has nothing to fear
Make peace with your enemies, buy them a beer
You can’t find forgiveness by throwing a brick
You’ve got to love everybody and don’t be a dick
No don’t be a dick
Love Everybody…and don’t be a Dick
There’s no need for worry, you’ll just make yourself sick
Love everybody and don’t be a dick
No don’t be a dick
Love Everybody…and don’t be a Dick
Everybody Everybody…
19. Outro