1. Unicycle
Last night I dreamed of the circus, with the jugglers, acrobats and freaks
The lions, the tigers and the zebras, the monkeys, the elephants, and me

I'm a bear riding a unicycle, wobbling around the ring
I'm old and I'm fat, I wear a dumb little hat, I'm just trying to do my thing

I was a Kodiak in Alaska, mighty and fearsome and big
But it got too cold, and I got too old, so I came south and picked up this gig

I'm a bear riding a unicycle, I'm wobbling around the ring
I'm old and I'm fat, I wear a dumb little hat, I'm just trying to do my thing

See the flying trapeze, that looks like a whole lot of fun
I ain't scared of heights, so I tried it one night, but a bear ain't got no thumbs

I'm a bear riding a unicycle, I'm wobbling around the ring
I'm old and I'm fat, I wear a dumb little hat, I'm just trying to do my thing

See the man over there with the top hat, Somehow he thinks he is my boss,
Well he better take care, because I'm still a bear, I might snap and slap his head clean off

I'm a bear riding a unicycle, I'm wobbling around the ring
I'm old and I'm fat, I wear a dumb little hat, I'm just trying to do my thing

Can't you hear the calliope playing, Don't it make you want to jump up and dance
Throw your paws in the air, shake your derriere, and a bear don't have to wear pants

I'm a bear riding a unicycle, I'm wobbling around the ring
I'm old and I'm fat, I wear a dumb little hat, I'm just trying to do my thing
I'm a bear riding a unicycle, and I'm wobbling around the ring

Yes I'm here to get paid, and maybe get laid
I'm just trying to do my thing, Yea I'm just trying to do my thing

Hey Booboo! I See you!
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2. Check Out Time
Where’s my wallet, where’s my keys? / Where’s that bottle of relief?
Grab my coat and my guitar / Run downstairs to the car
the clock it now 10:57 / Check-Out Time is at 11

I’m Staying at the Motel 8 / There’s an extra charge if you check out late
No Kids, No Pool, No Ice, No Pets / Just a little room filled with regrets
Here’s your key, Room 207 / Check-out time’s at 11

(instrumental bridge)

I played a club just up the street / I had them people on their feet
The party moved down to my room / Daylight came way too soon
I got to bed at half past 7 / Check-out time’s at 11

(bridge) There’s an angel laying next to me, The sweetest thing I’ve ever seen
Here’s the cab to take you back to Heaven, Check-out time’s at 11

Where’s my boots, where’s my teeth? / Where’s that bottle of Alleve?
Grab my hat and my guitar / Run downstairs now to the car.
the time is now 10:57 / Checkout-time’s at 11
the clock it says 10:57 / Check out times at 11
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3. First Cup of Coffee
As I sit here drinking my first cup of coffee
Just trying to jump-start my day
So I can go things I don't want to
Just so I can bring home some pay

And I dearly love my wife and my children
I wish I knew just how to say
The words that would tell them
How much I need them
But talking about those things
Well it just ain't my way

When I was a kid we never talked about feelings
Feelings didn't matter they just got in the way
You don't have to like it, you just have to do it
That's one of the things that the old folks would say

Now I'm pushing sixty but I feel like a kid
Still trying to find my way
My old man is gone but I wish I could ask him
If he ever felt the same in his day
You don't have to like it, you just have to do it
That's one of the things that my old man would say

As I linger over this cold cup of coffee
Knowing I must leave pretty soon
So I can go do things that I don't want to
And be the adult in the room

I don't have to like it you just have to do it
I wish the old man was with me here today
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4. 1968 Lebanon TN
I'm seven years old and we live in town, on Pennsylvania Avenue.
My Mom and Dad and my brothers and me, I even got my own bedroom
Summers here and we're done with school, I just finished the 2nd grade
The weathers so nice that you don't need shoes, I'm gonna play in the sun all day

Saturday Morning after cartoons, we're headed for the Horn Springs pool
when I get in that water I ain't coming out, I'm gonna stay until my lips turn blue
Then we'll stop at the Snow White Drive-in, for a corndog and some Ice Cream
see who can eat theirs fastest, and laugh when get brain freeze

We're just tow-head kids in cut-off jeans, running wide open with skinned up knees
I know what Heaven means to me, 1968 Lebanon Tennessee

Gonna spend a week with Grandma, Gonna stay out on the farm
Gonna catch a bunch of fish with a cane pole, Gonna play out in the barn
when starts to get dark I'm gonna run thru the field, catch a jar full of lightning bugs
then eat some chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream, and get some of Grandmas hugs

Pap says it smells like rain, as he looks off in the sky
we're all shelling peas on the front porch, just watching the cars go by
later that night under a tin roof, listening to the rain
It's singing me to sleep like a lullaby with help from the Nashville train-

We're just tow-head kids in cut-off jeans, running wide open with skinned up knees
I know what Heaven means to me, 1968 in Lebanon Tennessee

Now its 2021 and times flying by, and I'm starting to feel old
Pap and Grandma have both passed on, and the farm has long been sold
I live out of state with a wife and a mortgage, and a stack full of credit card bills
Anxiety, Depression, and Arthritis, and too damn many pills

I'm at a funeral for an old friend, soon its gonna be me
But the Heaven the Preacher keeps talking about, that don't interest me
when my time is up and I get my reward, I know where I wanna be
I wanna go back to seven years old in Lebanon Tennessee

We're all laying on the floor, my brothers Tom, Tim and me
We're watching the ole Lone Ranger, on a black and white tv
three little wildass heathens, just as mean as we can be
Fighting the world and each other, back in Lebanon Tennessee

We're just tow-head kids in cut-off jeans, running wide open with skinned up knees
I know what Heaven means to me, 1968 in Lebanon Tennessee
I know what Heaven means to me, 1968 in Lebanon Tennessee
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5. Every Bone in Her Body
My Woman's been running 'round on me and she thinks that I don't know,
but I seen her last night with my best friend at the dirty picture show
I guess I ought to hate her but she's the mother of my kids
I love every bone in her body except for his

Every bone in her body except for his,
Yes my woman's been running round on me at night with my best friend
I can't believe they've gone, and done me like they did
I love every bone in her body except for his

My best friends married to her sister and little sister likes to screw
and the things that they've been doing, well hell we've been doing too
but you know it broke my heart when they done me like they did
I love every bone in her body except for his

Every bone in her body except for his,
Yes my woman's been running round on me at night with my best friend
I can't believe they've gone, and done me like they did
I love every bone in her body except for his

Yes I got a bone to pick with them, but I didn't mean it quite like this
I love every bone in her body except for his
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6. Three on the Tree
Float Like a butterfly, sting like a bee,
The woman I love stands 5 foot 3
She works downtown at the hardware store
She about beat me half to death with a 2 x 4

One for the money, two for the show
three to get ready I got places to go
I gotta keep moving while I still can
I got three on the tree and I’m a traveling man

Crow black chicken crow for days
If the chicken ain’t looking then the rooster’s gonna play
but it’s early to bed and it's early to rise
or the roosters gonna find hisself chicken-fried

One for the money, two for the show
I’m off to see the wizard down the yellow brick road
Dodging them monkeys the best that I can
I got three on the tree and I’m a traveling man

Jesus loves me this I know
He hangs out back behind the liquor store
Rolling them dice, seven come eleven
He said you got to let it ride if you want to get to heaven

One for the money, two for the show
Eat at your table, Sleep on your floor
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
I got three on the tree and I’m a traveling man

Magically delicious some assembly required
no lifeguard on duty, keep away from a fire
keep your eyes on the road, handle with care
Look both ways and wear clean underwear

One for the money, two for the show
Hi Ho Silver where did Tonto go?
He’s headed down the road with a brand new plan
He’s got three on the tree and he’s a traveling man
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7. A Little Bit Weird
I know a guy, he’s a little bit weird
Got him a goldfish that lives in his beard
Along with a hamster that quotes Shakespeare
He's not a bad guy, He’s just kind of weird

And I got a friend, he's a little bit strange
He lives with a monkey who’s criminally insane
They ride on a buffalo singing Home on the Range
He's not a bad guy, he's just kind of strange

He isn’t dangerous, he just likes to pretend
He could be Elvis or the King of Siam
Fighting off monsters saving Princess Diane
He might be different, but he’s still my friend

He's not a bad guy, but he’s kind of odd
Picking up roadkill, that is his job
He’s got a flat puppy, he calls it Bob
He's not a bad guy, He's just kind of odd

Yea, he's not a bad guy, he’s just bizarre
He likes to take a shower out in his car
He keeps all his troubles sealed up in a jar
He's not a bad guy, he’s just bizarre

He isn’t dangerous, he just likes to pretend
He could be Elvis or the King of Siam
Flying in a Spaceship with Princess Diane
He might be different, but he’s still my friend

Yes he’s a bit different, but he’s still my friend
And we get together, whenever we can
We'll laugh and we’ll cut up and eat space worms again
Just Me, Him, Elvis, and the King of Siam
Just Me, Him, Elvis, and Princess Diane

Hubba Hubba
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8. I Don’t Know Where I’m Going
I was headed down the highway, when I passed by this old man
He was walking on the shoulder with a guitar in his hand
I circled back around and I told him hop on in
If you'll tell me where your headed to I'll help you if I can

He said I don't know where I'm going, but I'll tell you where I've been
and one thing that Ive found out is you can't go back again
so I'm out here on this highway, gonna find out where it ends
Maybe play some sad old songs and make some brand new friends

we stopped off at a roadhouse up near the interstate
I bought us both some dinner, we sat and talked there while we ate
He told me of his life and his years upon the road
the people that he met and the stories that they told

He said I once knew a woman with hair of flaming red
she picked me up and fed me, then she took me to her bed
She told me of her husband whod been now two years dead
I held while she cried about the things she wished she'd said

He said you I don't own nothing but my clothes and this guitar
But a man who ain't got nothing is freer than a man who has it all
I always seem to come up with enough to get me by
there's more to life than chasing that dollar til you die

I want to thank you for the kindness that you've shown to this old man
I'd like to ask of you a favor, won't you help me if you can
Keep on spreading kindness as you travel down this road
stick your hand out to a stranger, try to help him with his load

Perhaps we'll meet again in that sweet by and by
There at the pearly gates where this road ends up in the sky
And the good Lord there will smile about the way we spent our days
Spreading love and kindness to those we met along our way-

We said our goodbyes and I headed back the way I came
and suddenly I realized my life would never be the same
And I don't know where I'm going but I'll tell you were Ive been
maybe sing some sad old songs and make some brand new friends
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9. Ain’t Nobody In Here Listening to Me
There ain't nobody in here listening to me
I like to write my name in the snow when I pee
But my peckers too short so I piss on my feet
And there ain't nobody here listening to me

Aint nobody listening and I don't really care
And I like to wear my wife's underwear
Then I'll put on a wig and pretend that I'm Cher
Naw There ain't nobody listening and I don't really care

I can sing what ever words that I please
Like your sister makes her money when shes down on her knees
washing dirty dogs and getting rid of fleas
and there ain't nobody in hear listening to me

The words they don't matter, they just want that beat
you can't have no puddin if you don't beat your meat
and I've got psoriasis and athletes feet
and there ain't nobody in here listening to me

I write these words and I make them rhyme
I play with the tempo and work out the time
then I wash my ass in hot turpentine
strike a match brother and see me fly

Aint nobody in hear listening to me
they're all too busy talking and watching TV
Just as long they keep drinking and they tip when they leave
I don't really care if they're listening to me
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10 Help Me Mama, I Can’t Breathe
The cities, they are a burning
People marching through the streets
You hear em shouting - "Black Lives Matter"
"Help me Mama" - "I can't breathe"

The final straw was in Minnesota
Over a 20 dollar bill
He had no knife, he had no gun
There was no reason for them to kill

"Help me", "I can't breathe"
16 times, is what he cried
He asked for water, he called for Mama
He begged "Please don't let me die"

One on his back, one on his legs
One took a knee down on his head
They didn't care, he didn't matter
Another Black man would soon be dead

8 minutes, 46 seconds
The time it took for him to die
Another person executed
Being Black his only crime

It's in the papers, it's on TV
It seems to happen every day
Thoughts and Prayers that shit ain't working
We've got to find another way

New York City, Philadelphia
Minneapolis, Louisville
400 years that's long enough
It's time to settle up the bill

Now the cities they are a burning
People marching through the streets
You hear them shouting- "Black Lives Matter"
"Help Me Mama", "I cant Breathe"

You hear them shouting - "Black Lives Matter"
"Help me Mama", "I cant breathe"

You hear them shouting - "Black Lives Matter"
"Help me Mama", "I cant breathe"

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11. I Ain’t Afraid of Dying
I ain't afraid of dying, I'm just scared of being dead.
With no arms to hold you, And ease your worried head.
And when I'm gone and in the ground, Who'll take care of you?
And if you should be the first to go, I don't know what I`ll do

You have been beside me, for oh so many years.
We've shared so much together, the laughter and the tears.
When it's finally time for us, to lay these burdens down
What are we gonna do, Without the other one around?

I ain't afraid of dying, I'm just scared of being dead.
With no arms to hold you, And ease your worried head.
And when I'm gone and in the ground, Who'll take care of you?
And if you should be the first to go, I don't know what I`ll do

Once we were so young, but now we're old and gray
And right here by your side, That's where I want to stay
I have always loved you, and I always will.
and when I'm dead and gone, My love will still be here

I ain't afraid of dying, I'm just scared of being dead.
With no arms to hold you, And ease your worried head.
And when I'm gone and in the ground, Who'll take care of you?
And if you should be the first to go, I don't know what I`ll do
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12. What We Ain’t Got
Bib Overalls and Chicken Feed,
Homegrown tomatoes and Fescue Seed
Shotgun Shells and Jars to can
Roofing nails and washtub pans

It’s a Country Store in a Country town
We know everybody for miles around
Fiddles play on a Friday night (Stop)
Some come to dance and some come to fight
We got everything as you can see
What we ain’t got, brother you don’t need

A few bushels of corn and some copper line
A Coleman lantern guide you through the night
Gallon jugs sold by the case
Don’t ask no questions didn’t see your face

It’s a Country Store in a Country town
We know everybody for miles around
Fiddles play on a Friday night (Stop)
Some come to dance and some come to fight
We got everything as you can see
What we ain’t got, brother you don’t need

Jackknives, Chainsaws, and Yard Sale signs
Wheelbarrows, Shovels, and Baling Twine
Planting Advice and Fishing Lies
A cold RC and a big moon pie

It’s a Country Store in a Country town
We know everybody for miles around
Fiddles play on a Friday night (Stop)
Some come to dance and some come to fight
We got everything as you can see
What we ain’t got, brother you don’t need
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13. Choices
It wasn't really love, it was just someone to screw
and now she's two weeks late and we don't know what to do
She tells me that abortion, well thats a mortal sin
There ain't no easy answers for the troubles that we're in

Aint no point in getting married, it ain't gonna last
My future's starting to look just like my Daddy's past
She holds all the cards, I don't get no say
I need to be a man, but instead I run away

Being young and scared that ain't no excuse
That won't justify the things that we choose
And every choice we make comes with a price
some you pay right now, others take the rest of our life

This relationship is over, it never has a chance
the only thing I cared about was getting in her pants
she tells me that I'm just, a self centered prick
we both know that she's right, and that fact it makes me sick

I crawled in a bottle feeling sorry for myself
she moved on with her life and she found someone else
I heard that they got married and made themselves a home
and that man he raised my child like it was his own

Being young and scared that ain't no excuse
That won't justify the things that we choose
And every choice we make comes with a price
some you pay right now, others take the rest of our life

That was forty years ago, I still carry the shame
So much time has now gone by I can't remember her name
Many times I've tried to find her, but its been too long
I'd like to make amends for the things I've done wrong

If I could just go back, what would I do?
I don't have an answer if you wanna know the truth
but I wouldn't turn my back and I wouldn't run
or feel forty years of shame for the things I've done

Being young and scared that ain't no excuse
That won't justify the things that we choose
And every choice we make comes with a price
some you pay right now, others take the rest of our life